. . . . . .
Marriage (Part 1)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: "I'll
be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and
I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner
to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home
for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when
I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time
about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand
that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether
you're here or not."
( SHE'S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part 2)
A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
Wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die,
I'm getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife -
Cold As Ever.' "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband
Stiff At Last.'"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part 3)
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are
no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After
sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends
and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings,
and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long
to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this
early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part 4)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother
of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to
find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts
at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?" His
wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts
right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
God may have created man before woman but there is always
a rough draft before the masterpiece.